Ideas for keeping Marriage a Priority
It’s a very difficult thing to do. Prioritizing my marriage can easily get lost in the shuffle of kids, jobs, and activities. Keeping my husband at the forefront of my mind has to be something I think about and pray for each day.
Kids bring us closer together because we’ve built a family together, by a miracle from God. But kids also can pull us apart if we choose to prioritize what the kids want over what our spouse wants and needs.
So often our kids’ needs are right in our face…ALL DAY. They let us know with whines and questions and lots of words. That’s ok because that’s often how they learn. But what I try to focus on, and let my kids know, is that we make choices for our FAMILY, not for each individual.
This means that whatever priorities my husband and I have predetermined, are what we use to make family decisions. These priorities are sometimes difficult to be consistent with, but are well worth understanding and sticking to.
Establishing these priorities helps our marriage grow stronger. It also helps our children know that the world doesn’t revolve around them.
List of Priorities
During premarital counseling, our Pastor taught my husband and I about the order in which our priorities should be once we got married. He shared with us…
And I bumped down a few more after I had four kids!
I really appreciate that he encouraged us to think this way from the beginning, so that we could focus on what the Bible asks of us. Like I said, it’s easy to get consumed in the busyness of life and not have anything left for your spouse. We want to be intentional to not let that happen, and if it does, to sort out the order.
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10 Ways I try to make my Husband a Priority
1.Pray for him
If I live a life full of prayer, my heart will seek after the things of God. God teaches us through His Word how a marriage is supposed to function. Through times that I’ve put God’s will first, He’s given me peace that passes all understanding, He’s given me love for my husband, and I’ve been able to give of myself more freely to support our unity and our family.
2.Valuing his opinions over what our kids want
Before I answer my kids, I should consider what my husband and I have discussed together. Would he agree with my response? (He should do the same for me!)
3.Setting time aside each day to connect and get on the same page
It could be in the morning or at night when our kids go to bed. Finding a time to connect keeps a bond strong.
4.Texting each other throughout the day
Keep each other in the loop about how our days are going. Share life and keep it fun.
5.Making tough choices that prioritize our marriage
A friend taught me a lot about this. She and her husband uprooted their kids from the school they grew up in, and transferred to the school district her husband works in. It was really hard on them to leave their much-loved school and home, but they believed that it was the best choice for their marriage and kids going forward. Sometimes we have to sacrifice other things in order to keep our marriages strong.
6.Setting goals & dreaming together
Talk about what we dream about for the future. Share that together and see how we can support each other, aligning what God has put on our hearts.
7.Not letting kids’ activities overtake our schedule
We can be choosy about what activities we sign our kids up for. My kids are still young enough that I haven’t fully learned this yet, but our goal as a family is to keep our family priorities in mind when we say “yes” to extras.
8.Respecting what’s important to him/not disrespecting him to others
We’ve all heard how important it is to show our husbands respect. It’s in a man to crave this. It doesn’t mean we can’t speak our minds or share our thoughts, but doing it respectfully will make a huge difference in how the conversation goes. It’s also easy to complain to friends about the day to day annoyances about our hubbies…but I try really hard not to, so that I can lift him up. I try to think about all the great qualities he has and focus on them. It’s not my job to complain about the things I want him to change. I want my husband to do the same for me.
9.Including things that are important to him on my daily to do list
I try to ask myself: What little tasks can I do to let him know I care? Since I’m a homemaker, I try to prioritize him by taking care of his food needs. He likes to eat healthy so I try to have things prepared that are convenient for him to grab as he runs out.
10.Learning his Love Language so I can love him better
You can take THIS TEST to see what your Love Languages are. It’s great to know because it shows how you give and receive love, and also how your husband does. This has allowed us to express that love better to each other.
When I don’t get it right
Even with the best intentions, I still often fail at getting it right. Each day we have to give each other new grace as we work through new events. I try to refocus on putting God first and my husband second, and do my best from there!
What ways do you prioritize your husband? What are the most challenging ages of kids to do this? I would love to hear more ideas!
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